So many entrepreneurs, and if fact so many professionals, think that what they do during their working hours has no impact on who they are outside of work. They believe they can lead a divided life, treating people one way in their work and another in their personal life.
The truth is, however, that every act, every decision we make, in some way shapes our character. If we act a certain way once, we are more likely to do it again. This is true for good behaviors as well as bad behaviors. If we lie to customers as part of our everyday business, we are more likely to lie to our employees. And if we lie at work, we are more likely to lie to our families and friends.
Virtue is nothing more than a habit. And so are vices. The more we act in a particular way the more it becomes ingrained in who we are — it becomes part of our character.
In the fast paced world of starting and growing a business we often have to make snap decisions and act quickly to take care of a parade of challenges and crises that seem to endlessly pass by. We can lose site of the consequences of these acts and decisions. And they happen so often and so quickly that it is easy to disconnect our daily decisions and actions from our core values — of what we believe in our heart is really right and wrong.
But each time we do this is shapes our character in some small but significant way.
All the decisions we make contribute to our character formation. Here is a short quote from the new book I am finishing up on with my co-author Mike Naughton:
So when an entrepreneur works, he affects the inner landscape of his character. The issue is not whether he changes himself, but how he changes himself. And the key to understanding the significant revealing of the entrepreneur’s personhood is not found in the amount of revenues he has generated, or the percentage of market share he has captured. Rather, the moral and spiritual character of the entrepreneur will be captured in the responsible relationships he has forged with others in the actions of running his business. More specifically, this can be shaped by the opportunities he pursues, who he chooses to do business with, who he hires, decisions he makes about products and markets, decisions about whether and how fast to grow, the corporate culture he builds, and his engagement with the community as a leader and/or citizen.
It is important to take time and reflect on who we are becoming through our work. If we are not careful, we might not like who we see in the mirror.
Dr. C.
Great post — thanks! I look forward to reading the new book.
..be bold
Great comment – and while I agree with it at a gut level I’m having trouble rationalizing it with some other stuff I’ve been reading about over the last few months – the dependency between behavior and its context. Apparently cheating tends to be very much influenced by the context of the cheating. For example, otherwise “good people” will cheat on their taxes, will keep incorrect change from a grocery store, etc.. Additionally, it’s now being discussed in psychology circles that “middle child” or “first child” behaviors, while very pronounced in the family context, tend not to materialize themselves outside of that context. Given that behavior is so context dependent, the only way I can square your comment (which again, I somehow want to agree with!) is to add that an entrepreneur isn’t able to remove himself from the entrepreneurial context when he/she goes home at night. What do you think?
Chris,
Your comment fails to recognize that behavior is not the same as who a person is on the inside.
Do all philanthropists possess a spirit of generosity?
There are many people who appear to live a Jekyll and Hyde lifestyle. But any Dr. Jekyll whose inner life is dominated by the desires of an Edward Hyde is within his true self not truly a man of honor, no matter how great his public reputation.
James Shewmaker
http://cohesiveintegrity.com/blog.htm
It’s great to hear those words. I hope people are listening. It is so easy to lose sight of values when the money is involved.
I’d like to comment some on something we touched on in class. There are many things that help forge our character and values. My generation, from what I’ve seen, is really focused on keeping family first, even before career. Some say that this is because we watched so many baby boomers screw this whole family thing up. My take on it is that because the baby boomers sometimes grew up wanting, they determined in their minds that their families would want for nothing. Unfortunately, my generation has all they want, but grew up with workaholic parents who were absent in their lives. I believe we’re searching to find that balance between family and career.
Jeff,
It reminds me of a Buddhist saying that says something to the effect of –
whatever a man thinks about continually, to that shall his mind be inclined by force of habit
I think who you are at work and who you are at home are inseparable. Given the amount of time you spent at work each day, it is inevitable that your behavior at work will spill over into your personal life, and vice versa.
Good insights!
Excellent post, Dr. C. How soon does this book come out (and can I come to the signing party)?