Boundaries

My column in this week’s Tennessean is on the need for boundaries between the entrepreneur and his or her employees:

There is a risk in going into
business with friends — if the business relationship sours, the
friendship almost certainly will end.

But what if you find yourself becoming friends with employees you hire in your business?

This
is the question that one of our student entrepreneurs asked while we
were chatting in my office the other day. He had observed other young
entrepreneurs becoming buddies with their employees and wasn’t so sure
that was a good practice.

In
a small business, becoming friends with employees is a natural
occurrence. A small group of people working closely toward common goals
often develops friendships with each other. You all suffer together
through the trials and travails of start-up and early growth, which can
create strong bonds.

We
know that facing common adversity is powerful for building teams. Such
camaraderie can be a critical element in building a strong culture in
the business and in creating loyalty among your staff.

But, it is important for the entrepreneur to keep certain boundaries as such friendships develop.

No
matter how strong the team becomes, the entrepreneur is the one person
who is ultimately responsible for the outcomes of the business — the
one who personally has everything on the line.

Hard
decisions will have to be made at crucial points in the growth of the
business. And no matter how hard it may be, the entrepreneur must make
the best decision for the future of the business even if it may not be
in the best personal interest of all the individual employees.

Be the ‘shock absorber’

As the business owner, there are certain things you should never share with your employees.

If
they have become your friends, you may feel that you can share your
deepest fears about the business with them. This is a mistake.

First
and foremost you are their leader. It is your job to communicate
confidence and commitment to the vision, even when times are tough.

You
need to be what I call their “emotional shock absorber.” Your
confidence and commitment will be what keeps them on task and doing
what needs to get done to survive rocky times.

If
you share your fears and doubts, as you might with a good friend, you
run a real risk of creating a climate of hopelessness and defeat in
your company.

At
the end of our discussion my advice to the student entrepreneur was
that it was OK to become friendly with employees, but to maintain
certain limits. It is fine to socialize, but remember that you are the
owner and the boss 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

It
is not unlike the parent/child relationship as the child moves into
early adulthood. While parent and child find their relationship can
evolve more and more into one of friendship, there remains a certain
boundary based on their familial relationship.

Friendships with your employees need to also have these boundaries.